no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
