I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
