This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
