i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i dont even know how to be here
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
