you guys were way drunker than both of me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
