Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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