I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
