Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i think i just lost a toe
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
