Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think my vagina is haunted
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
