my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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