You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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