her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
my liver is dry heaving
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
