i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
