using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
