There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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