and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
