ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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