imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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