i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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