i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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