so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
