So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
