I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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