I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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