You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
