This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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