She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
