he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
