We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
