make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I party with great urgency now.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
