"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What a dumb baby whore.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
