girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
