Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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