weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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