Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
