matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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