Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
