I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
