so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
