all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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