69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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