So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
