And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
