how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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