Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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