you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
