I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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