I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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