don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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