Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
